1)Teacher:
“Where were u born?”
Student: “Singapore, Sir.”
Teacher: “Which part?”
Student: “All of me, Sir.”
2)I LIKE YOUR
THINKING
A teacher asks her class, “If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?” She calls on
little Johnny.
“None, they all fly away with the first gunshot.”
The teacher replies, “The correct answer is 4, but I like your
thinking.”
Then Little Johnny says, “I have a question for YOU. There are
three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately
licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is
gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off
the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?”
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, “Well I suppose the
one that’s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.”
“The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on… but I like
your thinking.”
3)MARTINI
A lady walks into a bar and says, “Barkeep, gimme a martooni.” The
bartender goes back and fixes her a martini. She downs it and says,
“Barkeep, gimme another martooni.”
So he goes back and fixes her another martini. She downs that, and
just sits there and doesn’t say anything. Finally after about 10
minutes bartender says, “Would you like another?”
She says, “Oh, no, I got this terrible heartburn.”
The bartender says, “Okay, there are three things wrong here:
Number 1: It’s martini, not martooni.
Number 2: It’s bartender, not barkeep, and
Number 3: You’re not having heartburn, your boob’s in the ash
tray.”
4) RUN AWAY
“Do you mind telling me why you ran away from the operating
room?” the hospital administrator asked the patient.
Because the nurse said, “Don’t be afraid!
An appendectomy is quite simple.”
” So….”
” So?” exclaimed the man..”She was talking that to the
doctor!!!!”
